"I Like the Way You...."

I caught myself saying today "I like the way ____ is sitting quietly and is ready for the lesson." I have done this kind of thing the entire time I've been teaching. It's an eay way to get kids quiet and ready to go. It's a way to control students and get them to do what you want. I've just started reading Punished by Rewards, but I can tell already that this is what Kohn is talking about. When the reason you're giving praise is soley to manipulate someone else's behavior, then I think you have to question what you're doing.

I wonder, honestly, how much of what we say in a day is designed to manipulate someone else into doing what we want... I'm trying to be aware of this, but we'll see how hard that habit is to break.