What I'm Thankful For

I thought about writing this post yesterday, but after playing my Wii for a good chunk of the day, I put if off until today.
Let's see, what I'm thankful for... my new Wii. Okay, well that's true. My Wii is really cool and I definitely got lucky getting it purely by accident during the one minute it was available on Amazon. But, on to the serious stuff...

I have had a very stressful school year so far. I remember when I was still just a candidate for the job I have right now. I remember how the idea of working at this charter school occupied every minute of my free time for about a week and a half while I was going through interviews, demo lesson and waiting to find out if I got the job. In my mind, the ability to work at this school would change everything for me about how I teach.

Since I've been here, I've been judging my teaching, comparing myself to others and constantly worrying about whether I am measuring up to others' expectations of me. The fact is, I may not be measuring up to some peoples' expectations. People around me have told me to worry only about what the important people think. And I've also realized, that even then, you're going to let down the important people in your life, too.

One of the OMET students and I were talking the other day and she said, wow, you must be so excited. You have so much exciting stuff going on in your life. And the fact is, she's right. I published an article, I've been invited to speak at two conferences, I'm "working" at Pepperdine and getting to work with one of my favorite people. I'm also looking at getting my doctorate degree. Frankly, there are a lot of great things going on in my life. I'm working on a new education article and a book on education.

I am of course also thankful for my family, for my friends and for my cadre(s) who support me. :)

Balance

I got chastized last night again for not having balance in my life. Essentially, I spend all my time working on something. Well, I have to say that's not true. I wend to Disneyland for a few hours over the weekend, had dinner with a friend and got a massage. I'm not doing so bad. But during the week, I do pretty much spend all of my waking time working on something on my goals sheet. Don't confuse that with I spend all of my time at work. I'm to the point where I spend about 10 hours a day at work, and that's probably where it's going to stay for right now. I actually feel that I should spend more time on my actual work.

But, I don't have a lot of things that I do that are just "fun". So my goal for this weekend is to set 3 fun goals for myself and add those to my list of things to do. I'm pretty sure one of them will be train for a short race, probably 5k and probably just walking it. I'm sure I could walk one now, but I'd prefer to be in better shape. I'm not sure how "fun" that will be, but at the very least it will be healthy and healthy is necessary right now too.

Other things I've thought about: learning how to do pottery, doing something with building in second life, getting a video game, cooking...

I will finalize this weekend...

How do you do it?

I feel a little silly every time I type the words "changing the world". Maybe I should just say changing the educational system. On Bill's website, he writes that he doesn't think that the education system needs to be changed incrementally, but that it needs a wholesale change that will come from a grassroots movement. (Check it out if you haven't: www.bmosely.com.) I agree and want to be part of that grassroots movement. Actually, maybe what I want to do is start it. Or help start it.

It seems like quite the daunting task. How do you spread the word? (Conferences, websites, articles...) How do you connect people together who feel the same way? Once you have a community of evangelists--well, what then? What action do you as a group take that's going to start making the right kinds of changes? I've been somewhat obsessed with this the last few weeks, and now I'm trying to formulate a plan.

I'm starting with 10 teachers/educators who I think will be evangelists for the message of changing the education system. I don't know who those 10 are because I haven't let myself really think about it yet. There are a few in the back of my mind- a few who are essential, who I wouldn't do it without, and then I need to expand from there. The problem of course, is that no matter how much people say they agree with your message, to be a useful evangelist, they have to have the time and the inclination to help you. And that's hard. Most of my friends won't be part of the ten, mostly because they think I'm nuts. They tend to think it's crazy that I spend all of my non-work time on stuff like writing, working with Pepperdine, investigating Second life and working on my website and other things that I'm not getting paid for and not seeing any results from yet. Oh, yeah, and applying for a Doctorate in Education.

I'm trying to see the bigger picture. I'm hoping I can find some folks who want to see it with me.

I am not a patient person

I know this is no surprise to anyone who actually knows me. When I decide to do something, I want it to happen now. I am beating my head up against the wall with that fact right now. I have all of these ideas of things that I want to do, things that I would like to be spending my time on, but I have this other thing, this job teaching that is getting in the way of that. It's funny, I'm almost depressed every morning when I go to school because I have to leave all of the other things that I'm working on. When my kids come in, my mood brightens, but the same thing happens after school. I don't want to spend my time grading papers and fixing bulletin boards. I want to go work on my book or my website, or helping Pepperdine students in Second Life.

This seems a little wrong to me. What I'm writing books about is changing education, so shouldn't teaching still be the most important thing to me? I guess what it comes down to is that I'm bored at school. I've done this for five years and all of the other stuff is a challenge. Saying I've done if for five years doesn't make me an expert, or even mean that I'm a great teacher. It just means that I like change, and even changing school districts doesn't change the fact that this is basically the same thing I've been doing.

I want to change the world. And I want to do it now. :)